Debra E. and I are self-confessed Call nuts. We LOVE him!!!
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Have you ever wanted to know the secrets of Newt Call? Have you ever wondered what was beneath that layer of dirt? Well, this is YOUR LUCKY DAY!! For just $19.99, you too can know the secrets of Newt Call. What makes him tick? What is he really thinking? NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!!! We invite you to take a look at our new book, "The Idiots Guide to Newt Call or Call 101 for Dummies." Here are just a few of the sizzling secrets:
THE SHRUG. Well, this gesture normally means, "I don't know," but in CALL it means, "I choose my work," or "I can't rightly say."
THE GRUNT. You have to judge the grunt on whatever is being said at that particular moment. With Call, it can mean anything. He could agree. He could disagree. It could mean he has a toothache. The secret of knowing what the grunt means is paying attention.
THE SMIRK. This usually means that he is going to annoy Mosby in some way. It could also mean that he appreciates that someone or something is going to annoy Mosby in some way.
THE GRIMACE. This facial gesture is singular to Call. It is very important to understand the grimace. It means that you have gotten too close to him in some way. Call avoids closeness. It is important to understand that Call avoids closeness. It is the key to understanding the gestures and the man. For example:
THE SLEEVE RIP: Do NOT take Call by the arm. He does not like it. It gets him ... CRAZY. It is not advised.
Here are some MORE sizzling secrets to Newt Call, bounty hunter:
THE SAFE SIGN: This is a good sign. It means, "No one is going to die today," or "I don't plan to kill anybody right now."
THE WHOA NELLY SIGN: This is a modified safe sign. It
means, "Ain't gonna do it, no how, no way."
THE BENCH SLOUCH: Contrary to what many people believe, Call is not asleep. Underneath that hat, he keeps one eye on the town and the other on Mosby. Call is highly suspicious of Mosby. That is a key point. Call is normally suspicious, but even more so when Mosby is involved (which is usually the case.)
And if you order with the next 2 seconds, you will also receive FREE, AT NO COST TO YOU, "Controlling Call," which right now is only a pamphlet, since there is only one way to control Call:
SSsshhhhh ... the secret to controlling Call is to RENDER HIM UNCONSCIOUS!!!
We tell you the many fine ways to take out Call by way of his noggin. By rock, by bottle, by pistol butt, we include it all. ALL YOURS for the amazingly low price of $19.99. That's right, $19.99. Hurry. This is a limited time offer.
Operators are standing by, ready to assist you. CALL now.
1-800-555-CALL.
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Thank you for your CALL.
June 2002